Night Recap

As I take my ass to sleep, I can’t help but come to the realization about what happened tonight. 

Like always, Drizzy and I go to the park to smoke, drink and make fun of the other queens that like to chase their prey down. 

OOoohhh... but this particular night, I was bit by the voyeurism bug.

So as I’m walking around playing a game on my phone, I get a call from Drizzy telling me that there are 2 thick fine ass black men at stage 1. (Drizzy and I find each other by the different number of places we could be by assigning Each location with a number at the park)

So I proceed to tell him that it’s cool and go on walking around playing my game. 

As I get to stage 2 which is the jungle gym, I walk over still on my phone, not knowing I’m interrupting 2 men already fucking around... one Latin Lil bitch that’s completely naked, and a black man with a big ole dick shoving it into the lil bitches mouth. Once the black man saw me he bolted, and left the lil bitch struggling to put his clothes back on...

So once they were gone I sat done on the edge of the slide playing my game, still aware of my surroundings. I look up and see the 2 fine thick bearded black men walking around coming towards me. One with a raging hard on that you could see from a quarter mile away. 

But I’m not looking so I go back to my business on my phone. 

Before I could look up again, one of them was standing a good 6ft in front of me with his dick out. Looking back down at my phone I was unbothered by him. 

We played this game about 4 times before he was close enough to tap his dick on my lips telling me so open up... The audacity of this nigga to presume that I was going to suck his dick... I mean I did, but still! LOL

So anyways, I start sucking his dick, going in and showing him my skills, when out of no where his dude comes and my head was forced onto his bf’s dick. 

Now bf’s dick was so good and thick, and a great length. This made me even hornier, and I went from giving a 75% blow job, to 100% real quick. I start working on both dicks real good making sure to use all the spit I can to make their dicks as wet as possible. 

Pushing there dicks down my throat, the aggressive bf picked me up, turned me around and pulled my pants down and started eating my ass, all while the bf who had the better dick took to sitting where I was sitting, and that dick was still in my mouth... 

after the aggressive bf was done eating me out, he slipped a condom on and eased into this tight ass... I moaned in pure ecstasy! And the bf’s dick who I was sucking, lifted my head up and stuck his tongue down my throat. 

I couldn’t believe a peaceful night turned into a 3 some that I did not anticipate...

So I don’t know when this happen, but before I knew it bf with the better dick, had slipped a condom on, and I was riding on his dick making sure he knew how much he knew I wanted it all...

As I’m bouncing on the dick, I’m squeezing it making that hole  tight! All the whole the aggressive bf shoves his dick back down my throat. 

Several minutes later, I’m on my knees again, with the two fine black men standing over me jacking their dicks off... I’m going from licking both sets of balls to them shoving both their dicks in my mouth at the same time. As I reach up playing with both their nipples, I hear the aggressive bf start to moan... at this point I have taken my shirt off, and feel saliva dripping down my chest from me sucking both these dicks. 

Then out of no where, the better dick bf starts shooting all over my neck chest and nipples, and soon after his dude follows suit and adds his nut to my face... after all that they bust a bomb ass nut and leave me a lil cum whore 😒to clean up their mess... 

what a fucking night! 

Lost of a Great Love

I was in a relationship for 5 years, and it recently ended. This lost was something that I didn't want to happen, but my hands were tied because I kept feeling like I was on the outside of the relationship looking in. Always being thought of last when all I did was put this man first.
Then he had the audacity to say he doesn't know whether or not if he wanted to be in a relationship. I know though I had my faults, but was it that bad that I needed to be ghosted?
I go through the day thinking that things were my fault, and have dreams about him, knowing that my love for him is still great.
How do I get over this hump?
How do I get over this doubt, and need to want to be loved by him?

All I wanted and envisioned was to start a life with him, and be partners in everything. Uplifting each other, and being there when one or the other needed that support. Wanted nothing but honesty the whole way. Wanted that true love, which I thought I had.

I have cried, stopped eating, and invested so much time and effort into him that I don't know at the moment to be without him.

This feeling is sickening, and feels worse than losing someone to death. At least with death, you know it could not have been helped.

Please provide feedback,

Signed a broken LEO...

Screaming from the inside

At 31, I thought that I would be doing something purposeful with my life.
I lost my job literally 7 days before my birthday and was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes 14 days prior. Had to move back in with my parents a month later.

Also in a relationship that feels as though its going backwards rather than forward.

Personally speaking, I feel like currently I might be suffering from depression.

I find it hard to want to get up and move around, I don't want to shower, I don't want to brush my teeth.
But I try my hardest to put on a smile and go through the motion of being a good boyfriend, a good son, and even a good friend.

I try and be verbal for everything I need, but who really hears me.
Walking alone is lonely even when surrounded by people who say they love me.
You say you love me, but where are you... Its dark and cold; the only thing that brings me momentary comfort is me, laying in bed surrounded by my pillows that I can hug when I need to be hugged.

I have been doing research on what to do to manage this depression, but it is not easy.
They say,"Go work out... eat healthy... smile to trick your brain into thinking that you're happy..." blah blah blah.

Working out is only a temporary fix.

Eating right will make me get somewhat thinner, but I want my mind healthy!

I want to feel happy again, on a regular basis! I want to be able to feel appreciated, and I want friends who are there for me when I need them.

The best parts of me have been swallowed up, and used to where I don't have anything left to give. This feeling today is horrible and I think I need a hug and someone to tell me it will be ok.