Screaming from the inside

At 31, I thought that I would be doing something purposeful with my life.
I lost my job literally 7 days before my birthday and was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes 14 days prior. Had to move back in with my parents a month later.

Also in a relationship that feels as though its going backwards rather than forward.

Personally speaking, I feel like currently I might be suffering from depression.

I find it hard to want to get up and move around, I don't want to shower, I don't want to brush my teeth.
But I try my hardest to put on a smile and go through the motion of being a good boyfriend, a good son, and even a good friend.

I try and be verbal for everything I need, but who really hears me.
Walking alone is lonely even when surrounded by people who say they love me.
You say you love me, but where are you... Its dark and cold; the only thing that brings me momentary comfort is me, laying in bed surrounded by my pillows that I can hug when I need to be hugged.

I have been doing research on what to do to manage this depression, but it is not easy.
They say,"Go work out... eat healthy... smile to trick your brain into thinking that you're happy..." blah blah blah.

Working out is only a temporary fix.

Eating right will make me get somewhat thinner, but I want my mind healthy!

I want to feel happy again, on a regular basis! I want to be able to feel appreciated, and I want friends who are there for me when I need them.

The best parts of me have been swallowed up, and used to where I don't have anything left to give. This feeling today is horrible and I think I need a hug and someone to tell me it will be ok.